a perfect day

i can honestly say that today i am blissfully happy and contend and could not ask for anything more.

last night we had some friends over for a braai to a nice clean house and had a great time. it occured to me that we are now grown-ups. our friends arrived while i was in the kitchen i had just cleaned, making a salad and fixing up our garlic-bread ala us, when i heard the tapping of little bare feet and Elizabeths voice calling me. First time she's been here and she padds straight in and comes looking for me - melt factor on high!

hubby had the steering wheel set up at the playstation so the guys could play some formula 1, but instead of all three of them hanging in front of the tv the entire afternoon as i had though they actually kuierd outside with us for the most part. it was a wonderful relaxed group atmosphere, no segregation of the sexes like one usually gets at braais.

later that night when Elizabeth got tired we got out the camping mattress and she eventually fell asleep on it under the gazebo where we were chatting. when everyone had left at around 10:00 i realised that even though we had people over for a braai since lunchtime, the house was still clean! how wonderful it is to be grown up LOL

this morning i was lying awake and decided - like so many other mornings - to lie very still and see if i could feel the baby moving, not expecting much though. i shifted a little bit which had the cat complaining somewhat from where she was lying, just under the little baby bump. and suddenly... there it was! a very definite feeling, unlike anything i've ever felt before, like slight pressure, flipping, like a fish almost. but definitely there!!! i had to wake up hubby with the news and got a sleepy, blissful smile and a tight hug in return. and then i just lay there, telling him what i was feeling and when. it was amazing!

we eventually got up, i made us some coffee and breakfast and we sat down outside where the gazebo, table and chairs were still set up from the night before. it was a beautiful, warm, sunny morning, the air smelled like coming summer, there was a slight breeze blowing across my skin and the cat was lying at my feet, purring. and again i realised how incredibly lucky i was to have this life. what more could i possibly want? i looked over to where hubby was enjoying his breakfast and got a loving smile and my answer was confirmed - absolutely nothing!

initiation

so last night i think i got officially initiated into our new circle of friends - and officially accepted by their little girl.

while hubby was helping J out with his boats engine i was hanging out with L and little E - i guess we've been over there a lot lately and little E now sees me as the newest attraction - i was asked to wash her hair and get her dressed, i got my hair done by her and had to build clay babies (interestingly therapeutic that!), and by the end of the evening i got to change her diaper. and what a diaper it was!! Oh-My-Word!!! tear gas has got nothing on this kid! i think i got through it rather well but walked away with a new respect for babies in general!

the best husband in the world

i think i must have the best husband in the world! monday and tuesday i was in bed with the flu and he treated me royally - cooked for me so i'd have lunch during the day while he was at work, brought me mountains of fresh veg and fruits and made sure i took my meds.
and now that i'm better he's stuck with my flu - poor man.

for a while now i've been saying i want to move my workdesk out of the spare bedroom and also that we need new closet space to accomodate all the new baby stuff. yesterday hubby phones me up and tells me he has a surprise waiting for me at home. the curiosity almost crippled me for the rest of the day but when i came home it was worth the wait - he'd come home during the day and brought a huge closet for our bedroom, and also shifted my work desk to where i'd wanted. who would've thought i could get so excited about furniture!!! now i walk through our little home and just enjoy the newness. also with the new space in the spare bedroom / baby room its now easier to plan.

now i just need to clear out my old boxes and get rid of my accumulated cr@p! wish me luck with that!!!

what a wonderful weekend

This past weekend was another memorable one! Saturday i had some girlfriends over, we had pizza and gossiped and looked through my new baby clothes. The one already has a 6-month-old who was the centre of attention obviously :)
I had already started shifting around in the babyroom and the little bed is now set up with a collection of stuffed animals and blankets. Also we have received so many second hand baby clothes i honestly don't know how to thank people! and really nice, good-quality clothes! My mom has been an angel - not only has she collected the clothes and sent them up, with some new items in between that she just couldn't resist in the shop, but she and my grandma also bought some winnie the pooh material and she's making us bedding and curtains for what she proudly calls her grand-bundle-of-joy!
Sunday we whent for a day trip with some friends to the dam - for the internationals thats the lake! our one friend has a new racing boat so the day was spent setting up the engine and taking us women and little girl out for spins. We made hot dogs and otherwise lazed in the shade, chatted, took lots of photos and enjoyed the day.
Another big plus was that one of the new group of friends actually works at canon and will take my camera in with her to get it cleaned - i have so far not achieved much by phoning around plus by the time i eventually get into town another month will have past. If they can get those irritating dust spots out that i haven't been able to clean out, taking photos will be a joy again! Already this was a very rewarding weekend for photos again - i'd almost forgotten how much i enjoyed it. And with the zoom lens my man got me and the appreciation of the group afterwards, i think i have rediscovered my passion :)

what tiggers do best!

Although my last post might have seemed a bit dooms-day-y i can safely assure you those moments pop up occasionally but then dissipate just as quickly.
On an up note it does sometimes feel like planning for our baby has brought my husband and me even closer!
We met up in the mall yesterday because i wanted to show him some items i'd found in the baby department of Edgars - just to show, to daydream together and enjoy one of those 'oh we can't wait for our little peanut'-moments.
We're agreed that Winnie the Pooh is among our top choice of themes for our baby. Not only is it neutral for boys and for girls, but its also a classic, beautiful and most of all innocent story.
So yesterday i happened to find a stuffed Tigger! I just had to show daddy that, he'd love it. And he did! He bought it immediately and afterwards seemed very contend strolling through the mall with an oversized stuffed Tigger in his arms.
So often lately i count my lucky stars to have a man like him to share this experience with. He will be such a wonderful father! He already loves this baby to bits and is reading up on the in's and out's of pregnancy and baby care. To such an extend that sometimes he will tell me what to eat and what is good for the baby right now and why! And even thought i then put up a show of indignation i love and admire him for that :)
I salute all the good fathers out there and sincerely take my hat off to those incredibly strong women wo've had to have children without that support!

avocados

latest pregnancy update: i'm now around 16 weeks - i should say 4 months - a friend once remarked in a very exasperated way about how pregnant women always talk about weeks and expect everyone else to calculate exactly how far that is!
Ok so i'm 4 months along now - and apparently OB1 is now the size of an average avocado - this is quite big, especially if i look down at my stomach and can hardly see anything! Also at this stage tiny bones in the baby's ears are developing which means it can now pick up our voices - which means even more effort on my part to keep my language clean!
For the last month i've not had too much to post - i still don't feel pregnant. Granted i get pains in my lower abdomen when i laugh to hard or sneeze, and my backpain has now localised to a specific point and threatens to disable me when i try to get up off a chair, but other than that i feel quite normal!
As for a baby-tummy - well. there's something there, but the only way to distinguish it from flab is that its hard and i can't suck it in anymore.
daddy is very excited and talks to the baby every now and again, i still have to get used to talking to my own flab. especially an area i spent my life disliking and hiding.
Sometimes i worry that i still feel so utterly normal. Judging by the level of broodiness i experienced by just seeing babies before, shouldn't i be tuned in to my own baby by now? Sure i love setting up the room, i love buying things for our little mystery child - whenever i can find something neutral! I also love planning how baby will fit into our life and our home, about the moments in the hospital when people come to visit... but when it comes right down to it... i'm afraid the idea of an actual baby still eludes me. I seem stuck on the idea of a baby, the idea of being a mother, of being part of that special club of women, of having finally arrived at the next logical step in my life. But what if its not at all what i imagined? what will i become through the constant possible crying, the sleepless nights, the lack of cuddle-time with my husband, the complete and utter loss of any sense of 'looks'...???
and will i be as good a mom as i hope to be? will i succeed in raising a well-balanced child? a happy child? will i be able to protect it from all the evil in the world?
Will i still be a good wife and partner? And somewhere in the midst of all this, will i still be me?

ugh!

well, for the last weeks i could almost forget that i'm actually pregnant - i suppose thats ok though, i do have to pace myself for the next 7 months still!
today i just feel crappy. so tired i could tip out of my chair now and catch a snooze on the floor! and i have this urge to just cry. get all the frustration out. we still haven't heard back on whether the car will be written off or not, hubby is being shifted around from doc to doc and still no-one has done more for him that x-ray his neck and give him a variety of painpills, none of which work properly, so he's hardly sleeping.
luckily we're still in a good place with each other - with all the financial and other drama its the one thing i'm holding on to right now.
tomorrow will be better.

pregnancy moods

ok, so following a request i have renewed my determination to blog more regularly - especially about the pregnancy. I have to say from the get-go though, if i come across as slightly psychotic and jekyll-and-hydish - please bear with me, apparently its completely normal.
for one, the cramps and pains have subsided somewhat - thank heavens for that! According to hubby's dad its not a porcupine baby, but the little devil horns that are making an early appearance. ha. ha. ha. - lets hope not!
with the cramps subsiding the nausea has picked up slightly, but what is even worse is the perpetual state of PMS! actually PMS is a holiday compared to these mood swings! One moment i'm normal, maybe slightly irritated and grumpy cos i'm tired, then suddenly the power trips, effectively cutting off ALL my communication - phone, internet - skype, facebook, gmail, - the works, and next thing i know i'm in a rage that i can hardly control. now i've gotten angry before - really really angry. but this is ridiculous. there are times when i feel i'm a hairs breadth away from losing control and bashing something to pieces. when i then desperately try to collect myself and calm down as this can't be good for the baby, i see my hands shaking and then i'm just frustrated all over again - and THAT then ends me in tears!
so i've just gotten my tears under control and my boss comes in with a cup of tea, or what he calls 'a cup of feel-better' - so sweet - and here i go again - he's barely at the door and i'm dissolved again. then the workshop downstairs starts grinding or hammering away at something again and there i am again, back at rage! and at the end of it, i'm just exhausted.
luckily i have a wonderful husband with the patience of a monk! he just chuckles at me and does all kinds of little things he knows will make me feel better. this morning he phoned me on skype and then left the skype call on while he watched a movie, home sick in bed, just so i can talk to him whenever i feel i need to. it was a wonderfully unexpected remedy. it was like lying next to him reading a book, just knowing he's there with me.
my wonderful mom and my darling doctor have however put me at ease about taking herbal calming pills, so i shall give that a try. wouldn't want this baby charging out of me like attila the hun, battlecry and axe ready!!

pregnancy pangs

honestly, some days i could swear i'm carrying a porcupine!!!

the force is strong with this one

brilliant news!! I am pregnant!! and it barely took two months and there it was :D Husband and i are so excited! We had our first doctors appointment today and got our first sonar - its not much more than a speck right now, but we know our little bean is in there and we can't wait to feel more of his/her presence. Since we want to wait to find out the gender we've come to calling him OB1 - Our Baby the 1st! Although the doc said that until 12 weeks anything could still go wrong, we want to shout it from the rooftops and are already envisioning a little blonde bundle of joy crawling around the house! Life is wonderful!

3 beautiful things

1. my man cuddling the pms-related irritation right out of me this morning.
2. my boss bringing us apple crumble to the office.
3. missing my man and looking forward to seeing him again tonight - love that contend feeling.

mothers

today is mother's day, and i miss my mother more than usual. and i miss my grandmother even more. i've gotten to spend more time with my mom recently but feel like i haven't seen my grandmother in ages. and she is one of the most important people in my life!
on great news though she got a laptop now and is gonna start emailing and skyping, how cool is she. i can't wait!
and of course on a last note, here's hoping that by this time next year i'll be a mother myself :)

royal wedding

today is the wedding day of Prince William and Kate Middleton and, as the whole world is probably watching every move of everyone involved, i'm on deadline so will have to catch up on the highlights later. joy for youtube! i do wish them all the best, sincerely! they won't have it easy and i suppose now that Kate is in line to be Queen there'll be so much more pressure on her. I wish them that their love will always be strong enough to withstand the royal pressure and that they will always remember why they got married in the first place. God Bless Kate and Will!!!

easter fun - Three Beautiful Things

had an interesting easter this year - interesting because it was so different and un-easter-like. and here are my three beautiful things for today:
1. Playing monopoly with good friends - being able to have good fun with good friends that involves board games and not braaing and massive amounts of alcohol.
2. having good pooitjie together.
3. ending the day (that started at 11h00 a.m.) at almost midnight after playing Uno the whole afternoon and laughing so hard i'm surprised we didn't pop a vein in our heads!

Three Beautiful Things

i find this a brilliant idea and will make a serious effort to keep at it again.
1. being back at the airport, remembering our honeymoon :)
2. seeing my sister again and actually being able to spend time with her after so long, and how she loves it when i spoil her rotten :)
3. cuddling with my man under the window in the spare bedroom, watching the clouds float across the sky as it slowly darkens.

ear on the line

just had the funniest moment - i just got a call from friends where my husband stopped over for a drink - after a short chat they assumed i'd put the phone down but because i was busy in the kitchen i'd left it to them to end the call - when i realised they didn't i decided it would be funny to see how long it would take that bunch to realise i was still on the line. i kept hearing them talk nonsense until i heard my husband - close to the phone - saying that i couldn't reprimand him for talking nonsense cos i wasn't there - wishing i could be a fly on the wall to see his face - i called into the phone 'i can hear you!' - there was a sudden silence, followed by a collective burst of laughter that has probably still not abbated LOL i'm on my way over now as its now become a party instead of a short drink so this'll be one of those stories we tell for years to come!

trashy intentions

someone stole our garbage bin. they didn't rip all the bags open and spread all the trash across the pavement and driveway in search of old food. they stole the whole bin! who does that??? and the worst is, i heard something and still whent to the gate in my half-asleep-state and heard someone roll it away. but since i wasn't expecting THAT i assumed it was the trash people that were overdue anyway and whent back inside. when i was actually awake it occured to me that i hadn't heard the garbage truck... DAMN!
i'm back to my daydreams of laying in wait and shooting these pathetic pieces of trash with my husbands paintball gun!!! you just wait, one day i'll get you!!!

Adventures of ZsiZsi - The Early Days

taking a ride - in style

ZsiZsi and her brother Diablo

her favourite perch at the time

our first picture together - we had just met!

Adventures of ZsiZsi - The Beginning

ever since i can remember i have wanted a cat - my very own cat. i find them absolutely gorgeous! but the time was never right, or there wasn't enough money, or we weren't allowed to keep pets, or we weren't home enough, etc etc. then - on 26 december 2010 - my sister and her boyfriend brought over my christmas present - a huge box - and as he sat it down on the ground the top started moving and out peeked a tiny, furry ear! i almost died on the spot - i was so unbelievably happy!! in the box was the most beautiful little tuxedo kitten i had ever seen in my entire life! it was real, and it was mine!!! and from the moment i lifted her out of her box she knew i was her mama - she cuddled up in my arms and stayed there - blissfully happy.




i had always thought i was not an animal-lover - too much hair, spit, pooh, etc. but now i cannot imagine our life without her - i love her more than i ever thought possible. and after some growling time about the unexpected surprise, so does her daddy :)

... and he knows me so well

i really hit the jackpot when it comes to my husband (and at being married barely 3 months after a 5-and-a-half-year relationship i still enjoy saying 'husband').
He proved it again yesterday. He had asked me to receive a package for him and when the 'package' came - it was lunch - not just any lunch - my FAVOURITE pizza from my FAVOURITE pizzaplace, DOUBLED UP on all my favourite toppings!
he spoils me rotten :)
today i'm stuck in the office again cos its raining 'schnürsenkel' out there - no chance in walking even to the tuckshop around the corner in this, and he told me he'll bring me food :) ah he thinks of me :)

hmm...

although the name 'gordon ramsey' was familiar to me for quite some time, i had never actually seen him in action. until one day, not too long ago, when boredom overtook me and i ended up on youtube --- for 3 hours! i had started with jamie olivers food revolution after seeing an episode and finding new respect for the man, and eventually ended up with gordon's antics on hell's kitchen. O.M.G.!!! what is with that man??? how can anyone be so mean? they can't all possibly be THAT bad?! i had just made up my mind that gordon ramsey is an utter plonker, when i saw a clip where a girl stormed out and he subsequently fired her. she was crushed! but as she got to her her taxi, here was gordon, really nice, telling her to give up on her dream, and giving her a hug and wishing her the best. Newly-set opinion obliterated. Dontcha just hate it when you've just gotten to really really disliking someone and then they prove you wrong?? or at least make you doubt?

ah and for a new setting i will do my blogging in candy-striped-pink for a while. a change is as good as a holiday :)
i have found a new love recently - googling ideas for my dream home. cozy, homey kitchen in wood, colourful kids rooms with lots of places to play and climb and stuff, beautiful nursery with stuffed animals everywhere, a reading nook somewhere at a bay window with lots of light... hm one day... one day!!!

late blog - wedding prep

i had wanted to keep a wedding prep blog, but just never got around to it. well, of course i didn't always follow the advice of my good friend and wedding planner, and didn't do enough early enough. so that by november i was stressing. and frustrated. and annoyed that chris wasn't 'participating' - when i suppose he was trying to stay out of bridezilla's way. oh ok, i wasn't THAT bad, but not quite relaxed either. looking back there were things that i though had to be planned out to the t, like who does what exactly when, and who sits where, when in the end things didn't go according to that plan at all, and it was still the most wonderful day in my life :)

alright, as promised, i will devote more time to blogging - seeing as the biggest things i've not even put in here, let me catch up one bit at a time :)

living the dream

man, i have so much to catch up on. but for tonight i just needed to send this bit out into the cosmos.

i realised tonight that i am living the dream - according the my standards the last time i checked - which was in college! i got home today from a job working as a well-liked graphic designer at a small but glossy magazine. i came home with a man that loves me more that i can even fathom, who married me with tears in his eyes and who recently returned with me from an amazing honeymoon in mauritius. I got home to the most beautiful cuddly little tuxedo cat, in a cozy little 2-bedroom cottage. I unbuttoned my new dark grey winter coat and kicked off my black high-heel boots, and then padded over to the glass cabinet, took out a wine glass and poured myself some rosies before settling down before my laptop. and it hit me, this is how imagined life for all those heroines in those chicklit books i love so much.

Granted now i'm gonna go wash dishes, while my man plays Crysis 2, but after that i'm gonna make us some nice beef stirfry and we'll cuddle up on the bed with a movie.

tomorrow i'm personally invited to the launch of a new beer, should be interesting.

and hopefully in the very near future we'll get to add to our little family.

Life is Good :)